Another morning session where I have smeared mascara because I have to talk about the difficulties of specific areas of my life. Discussing how I have spent the last three months just wanting to quit everything because of this season of transition and isolation. Not only have the last three months been hard, but this year alone was one of the toughest I’ve had. Literally could not catch a break, just one thing right after another and it all just continued to repeat. We all question it and I think we will for the rest of our lives, “why do bad things happen to good people?”
When we are faced with difficulty, no matter to what extent, we look inwards. “What did I do or not do” may be a question that plagues you as it did for me. I asked that of myself all too often and it got so damn tiring. What happens when the answer isn’t you at all? Can I find any reason to put myself to blame, I often thought.
I had to transition. I could no longer be a follower – I never played that role too well anyway. Not a follower in a sense of doing exactly what someone else is doing, but being in all the wrong places with all of the wrong people. Engaging in activities and conversations that did not serve me well, and honestly went against anything I ever stood for.
I’m sitting here, in the most comfortable seat ever, just bawllllliiinnnng my eyes out because I have to be uncomfortable with the fact that being me is gonna cause isolation. Isolation from those I once knew and deading the ideas I had to take them with me to the top.
She said, “you know you’re a leader and it’s often hard to be at the top. It’s really lonely at the top Ty. You got things to do in this world, in which you will be successful, but this is the bottom where you are and have to go through – it’s all a part of the process.”
Ugh! I hate this part – those words were great and all, but this shit is hard! I have to keep climbing even though I’m just tired.
I got distracted by the expectations. I was building a tribe full of individuals that were half-assed invested and disloyal, of course, it didn’t survive. That wasn’t my tribe, and here’s yet another thing I have to transition from. I could ramble on and on about how I am uncomfortable in this season, but I am learning something incredible – the art of it all.
See here’s the thing, you don’t go through the storms in life and not see the sunshine at the end. Everything happens for a reason and it prepares you for what’s to come. Nothing about being removed from your comfort zone into loneliness is exciting, but it’s needed right now because of where you’re headed. I needed the storms to humble and prepare me. I have no idea where I’m going and what I’ll be doing, but I know its WAAAY bigger than me. I like to live simply and I hardly ask for much, but these gifts that I carry on the inside requires me to be a little stronger and wiser.
Ty, I love how authentic you are in this post! Everyone can relate to this! You are an amazing writer, and it is clear you are called to do this challenging work!
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Thank you so much Tanaisha!
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I felt every word of this! I’ve been going through the same sort of transition for about a year. It’s tough! The fact that you’re acknowledging everything let’s me know you’re gonna be alright. Much love to you ❤️.
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Hi Sheena! Thank you for reading this post. This was by far the most challenging post because it’s happening currently. It’s hard because you’re alone and everyone cannot relate. It’s not always easy to just rub things off your shoulder or keep it moving. I’m glad that you were able to relate, much love 💕
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Thank you for this powerful post..nothing is permanent but change
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Thank you for reading 💕
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Transition is definitely a necessary part of life and growth. It’s really a form of discipline (training) as you’ve mentioned. Whenever I wonder about why bad things happen- especially to good people, I fall back on the 3 reasons I’ve learned through my study of the Bible: 1) our own shortcomings and those of others, 2) being in the wrong place at the wrong time- sometimes with the wrong people, and 3) the archenemy – the devil.
This believe it or not has a stabilizing effect.
I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Thank you for sharing simething we all think about. Much success to you!
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Thank you for reading my post and providing such a great response ! I hope that you’ll read more.
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Thanks for sharing all this truth. I too am a leader and tend to walk to the beat of my own drum. It hasn’t always been easy but finding myself in the process has helped me to grow.
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It’s so lonely at the top but growth is there to meet us as well. Thanks for reading 💕
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I totally understand. I woke up one day and everyone was gone. Everyone I thought I could rely on had vanished. It was then that I was really able to do some amazing things. Apparently they were anchors. Not the good kind that keep you from floating away during the storm, but the kind that don’t let you sail when you should be sailing. Glad you are getting the clarity that you need.
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Wow, what an amazing response! You’ve definitely just inspired me to write more lol. Thank you for reading, i hope that you’ll be back to read more 💕
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I have been there. Yes when you grow you outgrow people it may be friends and even your family…but everyone cant accept the growth.
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Hi there, thank you for your response . It can e hard when it’s family.
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Transitions are definitely hard, but you eventually get through them.
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Great authentic post. thank you for sharing. “We need to be aware of suffering, but we must retain our clarity and strength so we can help transform the situation.” –Thich Nhat Hanh
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Transition = change = growth & sometimes outgrowth. It feels lonely at first but all things work together for good. Thanks for sharing your journey.
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I hate hearing it as well, but you’ve gotta trust the process and keep moving forward. Allow the past to groom you and not doom you (I just made that up, but’s it got a nice ring to it so quote me if you use it!) 🙂
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Haha I like this a lot! You need to trade mark that or something !
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I know what you mean. Transitions are hard. It’ll all work out in the end.
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I’ve been through many storms and yes there is sunshine once the storms pass. I learned that I had to start making cracks in the clouds to start seeing the sunshine.
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Thanks for sharing! Transitions and changes are hard but necessary! The storm will always pass, just keep pushing!
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I’ve totally been there, and when I read “this is the bottom where you are and have to go through – it’s all a part of the process.” Those words literally keep me growing and pressing on.
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I’m happy that you were able to resonate with this post💕
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I can definitely relate!! This is such a powerful post. You’re a great writer 💜 keep writing, keep inspiring !!
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