Forgiveness and Healing

I Can Apologize Because I’m Humbled

I know we all had our fair share of moments when we did not want to apologize because, let’s be real you wasn’t really trying to let go of your pride. I’m not exempt either and I have to say that there were a lot of things I had to apologize for which humbled the ish out of me.

I won’t use names for the sake of privacy but I’m going to be real like always. This isn’t written because I can’t say these words face to face, but writing has been a therapeutic outlet for me. I usually like to let my pen do the talking since I’m better at written communication anyways.

Here I go….

Sis, I’m sorry that I ruined our friendship because I was bitter. My life was crashing and I watched yours rise to the top – so it seemed. At that time, I couldn’t understand how things flowed for you, but what I can say is that I truly do miss ya. Social media is cool in how it provides people to be connected, yet not really connected. I’m glad to see that it seems you’re doing good, I hope that someday soon we’ll connect in real life. You were always someone I felt could be my best friend forever.

Mr. Muncho Man, I can’t take the blame for everything that went wrong, but I can say that I’m sorry for how I handled things. You loved me and loved me hard, but I wanted you to be something that you weren’t at the time. When I look back now, I’m reminded of how you loved and it was so different from mine. You never wanted to change me, but your focus was elsewhere too. I’m sorry that I hurt you in ways that took you forever to recover. I had my own fears and anxieties and didn’t mean to put them on you. I see you’re doing well and that’s truly all I could ever hope for. Wish you the best with everything.

My faraway love, sheesh, you literally had me living one the love scenes in a movie. It was like everything I wanted right in my face during the most risk taking part of my life. You showed me the beauty of language and being a servant, I thank you for that. I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready and didn’t use the right words to explain how I felt. I hope that you forgive me for leaving without a trace when you needed me the most. I can’t get that time back but I’m thankful for what it provided.

Lady T the most beautiful face I see every morning. I’m sorry girl. I’m sorry that I allowed the wrong people to take advantage of the right things because of low self-esteem and fear of all things unknown. I’m sorry I kept you in places that hurt your heart like chalk screeching on a chalk board. I’m sorry I was not kind to your mind by feeding it negativity because life just seemed so damn dark. I’m sorry I didn’t let you fully explore yourself because of some all American Dream I tried to keep up with. Please be patient with me as I am trying my best to recover, heal, and love better.

12 thoughts on “I Can Apologize Because I’m Humbled”

  1. What a beautiful humbling post and theraputic message. I hope they get a chance to read your words and some of these I can apply to my life too. Growth comes from a humbled place.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love when you wrote, “. You showed me the beauty of language and being a servant, I thank you for that.” Now to me that’s a huge part of love.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I understand this. I’m the same predicament because my pride won’t let me apologize. I owe apologies to people I hurt in my past because of my insecurities but I haven’t.

    Liked by 1 person

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