I Stopped Using My Fear-Focused Lenses

I must say that I spend a lot of time in my head, there is always something to think about. Well, that’s the world that I live in but it does not mean that it is always a good place. One day I was driving to work, and its a rather long ride – about an hour. I kept trying to figure out how I can just put a rest to the fears that were consuming all major areas of my brain. I have dissected every part of the fear and how it is correlated to my emotions and behaviors on the regular. Then…..and only then, it HIT ME!

Fear, as we know, is connected to the “unknown.” We fear it, then host this obsession party as if peace is an outcome to make it “LIT!” I thought to myself why should I focus on what I don’t know; instead of what I do? I had fears regarding a particular area in my life, in which I do not have any control over – well to an extent I don’t. However, there was plenty of things that I did know. So instead of rehearsing the thoughts of fear like I was auditioning for a play, I rehearsed all of my knowns. This may not be big to you, but it was a MAJOR breakthrough for me.

Since I have figure out this sanity recipe, I am now applying it to all and any fears that arise. Fear is like stress, it’ll be there but you can control who holds the power. I didn’t want to make this a long post, but I hope that this resonates with someone. I’d like to know what realizations you all had with fear and how it helped you to stop using your fear-focused lenses.

As Always,

Leave Inspired 🙂

I Wasn’t the Chosen One, and That’s Ok!

It’s feeling like the black sheep or the last person to be picked for a team. The comparison game begins and in your mind, you’re trying to find anything, something to blame. Often times I felt like this in my romantic relationships and friendships. You see why you’re the best choice or how it can be beneficial, yet you’re still not chosen. I think I’ve searched in and out of myself because in my mind things just did not add up. I’ve had thoughts like… “but this person doesn’t ever call or invite you to anything…. and she doesn’t care about what keeps you up at night or the things you’ve seen in your childhood.” I tried to find a way to blame myself and how I was created because of a “failed opportunity”… or simply just not being “the chosen one.”

It’s hard. It sucks. At the moment, all you can really question is, why? Why wasn’t I what they wanted? I’ve learned that nothing can cure that empty gut-wrenching feeling but time. This was the push I needed to explore more of myself and why I want to dedicate every breath I am granted to choosing myself every day. Sometimes I think that our experiences in life present itself to show the areas where we need to love ourselves the most. For me, I had to learn to stop looking for others to choose me and walk as a chosen being. Yes, we all desire to be wanted and we all want to be somebody’s somebody. But have we given all of that to ourselves? 

I wasn’t the chosen one, and that’s ok because I choose Tysheira. I believe that for everything I longed to be chosen for will come my way again and I’ll do the picking. I’ll make sure that I am not left out of love because it’ll be given every day. I’ll make sure that I don’t feel like I didn’t fit into that friendship because I’ll give myself that. Vowing from this day forward that I will not worry about being chosen by people according to their likes and dislikes. Choosing Tysheira and she’ll always be the top choice!