It’s feeling like the black sheep or the last person to be picked for a team. The comparison game begins and in your mind, you’re trying to find anything, something to blame. Often times I felt like this in my romantic relationships and friendships. You see why you’re the best choice or how it can be beneficial, yet you’re still not chosen. I think I’ve searched in and out of myself because in my mind things just did not add up. I’ve had thoughts like… “but this person doesn’t ever call or invite you to anything…. and she doesn’t care about what keeps you up at night or the things you’ve seen in your childhood.” I tried to find a way to blame myself and how I was created because of a “failed opportunity”… or simply just not being “the chosen one.”
It’s hard. It sucks. At the moment, all you can really question is, why? Why wasn’t I what they wanted? I’ve learned that nothing can cure that empty gut-wrenching feeling but time. This was the push I needed to explore more of myself and why I want to dedicate every breath I am granted to choosing myself every day. Sometimes I think that our experiences in life present itself to show the areas where we need to love ourselves the most. For me, I had to learn to stop looking for others to choose me and walk as a chosen being. Yes, we all desire to be wanted and we all want to be somebody’s somebody. But have we given all of that to ourselves?
I wasn’t the chosen one, and that’s ok because I choose Tysheira. I believe that for everything I longed to be chosen for will come my way again and I’ll do the picking. I’ll make sure that I am not left out of love because it’ll be given every day. I’ll make sure that I don’t feel like I didn’t fit into that friendship because I’ll give myself that. Vowing from this day forward that I will not worry about being chosen by people according to their likes and dislikes. Choosing Tysheira and she’ll always be the top choice!
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I love that you said sometimes opportunities come our way to show us the areas we need to work on loving more about ourselves. I believe this is so true. Learning to choose me and to understand that sometimes I’m left out not because people don’t love me, but because it just wasn’t my time for xyz yet has been one of the biggest lessons of adulthood for me. It’s definitely taught me a lot about choosing me and self-love.
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Yes always choose yourself first. I have had to learn that the hard way after so many failed relationships and that’s in friendships too because we sometimes feel left out with our so called friends.
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Everyone has a purpose in life. It may not be some grand thing like someone else but it’s important to realize that everyone has gifts and talents this world needs.
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I can so relate to this! And sometimes I try to question myself and this line of thinking – is this really true? Or are my feelings just hurt and it feels this way? Like you put it, either way, it’s okay!
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My Mom reminds me “what God has for you, is for you.” If something doesn’t come your way, it wasn’t meant to!
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Theses lessons are important np matter what age! I am teaching my daughter this very thing of chosing herself. Her friendship dynamics are changing so at recess she was waiting to be chosen to play with.
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There is a whole PICK ME movement giving negative attention to women who are basically begging to get chosen. We as women should never look crazy to get chosen by anyone, have confidence in yourself, pick yourself first and let the person who wants to be with you be honored that you are choosing them back!
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Pick yourself first! This was a lesson that I learned after college but its one that has stuck with me every since!
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I love that you said, “I will not worry about being chosen by people according to their likes and dislikes.” As you already know, it’s important to choose you first.
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I agree. It’s important not to put your self worth in somebody else. You ARE enough. If it isn’t enough for the other person, then they don’t deserve you. You got this!
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I have felt this way before as well and it is always best to be yourself! It is always the best policy!
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You’re so right in ‘choosing yourself’. Self-care & self-love is the first step to true happiness!
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I’m so happy for you that you have decided to choose yourself and be happy with your choice.
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YES!! This was great! We waste too much time trying to get people to like us when we hardly like ourselves! You go girl 🙂
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Yes! Choose you every day! Such great advice.
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