By Candace Belin
I have experienced narcissistic abuse and never knew I would face a traumatic experience so daunting. I created this post to share the phenomenon that I experienced once I found out what I was going through (narcissistic abuse) and after finding out about this form of emotional abuse, my anxiety kicked into the highest degree. Every time that I processed the thought of a corrupted individual causing mental confusion, one to lose themselves, memory impairment (due to the abuser’s gaslighting) and general destruction to another human being period… all because the abuser wanted to mask their shattered ego!!! I became so furious at how someone can be so heartless, immature and selfish. With this phenomenon, I had constant re-played images of me dancing with the devil… (thinking about this, as a matter of fact, puts a slight increase in my heart rate) you get my point hopefully. The scary thought of how a demonic soul came so close to me cringed me down to the core. By the time you realize what situation that you have gotten yourself into, the damage has already begun.
I want to share with you that emotional abuse/trauma doesn’t only reside in the victim’s head… The Narc attempts to convince their victim that they are crazy (“it’s all in your head”) when they speak out about the mistreatment that they have received from them. While it is true that some of the damage that an emotional abuser has inflicted on their victims are inside their head, that is not the only spot in the victim’s body that is reacting from the narc’s attempt in convincing them that they are crazy.
Naturally the neurotransmitters from our brains fire signals of commands in physiological ways to different parts of our bodies to protect us from threats of danger and from unwanted experiences. When steady threats alert us from our limbic system (which is part of the Central Nervous System that regulates our emotions and instincts), it puts a tremendous amount of stress on our bodies physically and psychologically while also depleting neurotransmitters or causing dysfunction in our brains. For example, physically it causes pain in many areas of our bodies without any traces of how the pain occurred. In addition, psychologically we may experience social anxiety, chronic anxiety, and confusion which can be caused by depression etc. I believe the most traumatizing experience of narcissistic abuse is losing yourself and not being in touch with reality. I believe you really become a stranger to yourself and will trust your abuser over your own life as they manipulate you for their own twisted rewards. The problem isn’t really the victim, it’s the manipulation of the false self of a narcissist causing mental confusion to them which results in physical and psychological damage.
My Psychological & Emotional Trauma Journey
“Take Back Your Heart”