Mental Health, Self-Esteem, Uncategorized

Dependent Personality Disorder: Before There Was Him… There Was You!- Guest Blogger Candace Belin

Dependent Personality Disorder: Before There Was Him… There Was You!

Please note: throughout this blog entry I use “him” interchangeably.

What attracted him to you was your strong sense of yourself.

It included all of the things you once admired about yourself so deeply… You know…The simple things that required no effort or second thought from you. Your genuine ease of making others smile. Deep engagement with others whom you’ve trusted. The way you used to admire how gorgeous you were, how smart you were, the great cook you were, but ultimately… the best decision maker you were…

“What the hell happened to that person?” you ask. When you sit in this moment of despair… it’s like a picture in a faded glass. You almost deny that the person that used to exist ever existed. The unavoidable question reaps through your body with disappointment in trying to understand how your own-self has slipped away from you without a trace and without a warning. Distraught you may feel… confused by the bitterness of your reality.

The bitterness of your reality has a deeper side to it and this time it is not caused by those average typical failures in life either. What has made you turn your back on you? Is He…

He has made you turn your back on you. The mind games that you said he played were actually psychological manipulation moves rather than any games.

As a result of his psychological abuse over you, you most likely have developed a dependent personality.

Diagnostic Criteria for Dependent Personality Disorder

  • has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others
  • needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life
  • has difficulty expressing disagreement with others because of fear of loss of support or approval. Note: Do not include realistic fears of retribution.
  • has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on his or her own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities rather than a lack of motivation or energy)
  • goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant
  • feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for himself or herself
  • urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends
  • is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of himself or herself

For more information on “Dependent Personality Disorder” and the causes check out the link below provided by The Healthy Place.



Candace Belin

My Psychological & Emotional Trauma Journey 

“Take Back Your Heart”

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