Happy Monday and Happy Black History Month!
I have been itching to write something for quite sometime but haven’t had the right words to even jot down as a draft – until I was sitting on my couch watching the SuperBowl just battling with myself about how I rested all weekend. Yes, literally juggled guilt about how I was not productive and decided to care for my mind and body. It taught me a few things in that moment – I have somehow equated success with how raggedy I felt at the end of the day, but I know that it isn’t healthy at all. But, how did I get here? Where did I adopt the idea that working hard until I had a headache or couldn’t think anymore was ok? Last time I checked, success wasn’t about how many hours of sleep I lost or how drained I looked arriving to work, but how one creates a daily routine to work smarter and not harder. How one takes care of themselves to enjoy the things they’ve worked so hard for.
If anything, I can’t call myself successful if I put my mind and body through the gutter trying to get there. I literally beat myself up just to call something a success? I don’t think so. What helps me navigate this moment is that I know I am not alone. That in fact, most of us go through this and don’t even realize it. It can become an obsession. We’ve made a trend out of it by feeling like while the world sleep we should be up working long hours. Or only saying i’ll rest when I am not longer living. I never thought I subscribed to that mindset until I slowed myself down and actually listened to my body. I had a hard time coming up with ideas for my business and how to reach my population. I become uninterested in the things I use to enjoy because I was tired. I didn’t have the mental energy to let creativity flow or to think outside of the box. It was horrible and it has been that way for about 6 weeks now.
I started slow. Started to reward myself by coming home, working out, eating well, and watching my favorite show or movie to end the night. I didn’t touch the canva app or my social media because I just didn’t have it in me to create. I needed to rest. I felt bad about it. I felt like I was gonna be left in a dust. I thought that all that i’ve created would be less valuable. But realizing that I need my mind and body far more than I need a like or a sell for a service or product.
What about you? Have you been here for before? Let me know in the comments below.