I am back with another post, and this one is near and dear to my heart as I am continuing to navigate this in my relationships with others. Have you ever felt guilty for being successful? Perhaps you are the only one in your crew or family that has reached a level of success and felt guilty that others couldn’t join along. I know what they feels like all too well and I want to share my experience with you. So sit back and make sure to enlarge the text if you are viewing from a mobile device.
I’ve always felt this way, especially when it came down to my social life. I was always the one that was ambitious and traded nights out for nights in to work on goals that were really important to me. Not that I did not want to have a great time, but I saw more value in accomplishing my goals than going out. That’s when it all started. I was beginning to notice that I was viewed as being too ambitious, bougie, rigid, or any other word than fun. I didn’t understand why I was viewed this way because I wasn’t doing any harm to anyone, but it was the way others viewed me. I then was categorized as “other,” at least that’s what they made me feel like. I remember being in school and I had always had a few select people that rocked out with me. When I think back to that time, those people were just like me. They were always focused on things that mattered to them and they joined a pack of others that were the same.
Perhaps for some of us, our reasons for doing so all stemmed from a different place. For me, it was based on my upbringing. I was raised in a single-parent home of a teenage mother and all that surrounded me was hard work and dedication. I knew nothing else. I never seen my mother slack on her goals; she was always looking to make our lives better. As I got older, I appreciate it more because it instilled a form of discipline that I didn’t learn in school. It is the reason I have the success that I do today. But it was not always easy navigating. I had a hard time fitting in because my “why” was different, and I had things on my mind like how to be better than my mother and how to break generational curses.
Not that its anyone’s fault that they didn’t have the same struggle, but it is my testimony and what shaped me to the person I am today. I was having a conversation with my significant other and we were discussing this feeling of guilt when it comes to success. We shared the same emotions of feeling ostracized by family and people who we thought were our friends because we were different. We didn’t stick to the status quo, we shook things up a bit. We know what it feels like for others to be “fake happy” and to feel the lack of genuiness when sharing about our accomplishments while navigating adversary. It’s a real shitty feeling when those close to you make you feel like a black sheep all because of success. We both are very caring and loving people, and always willing to help the next execute their goals, and level up in their lives. So why were we treated this way? I could only assume that it made others remember the lack of inadequacy they feel to follow through with their own goals and create what success means to them.
How am I handling it today? Today, it has gotten better because I changed my mindset. I stopped focusing on those that made me feel different and started to position myself with others who were like me. I became invested in conversations filled with lingo I understood and I started to feel comfortable and at home. I began to shake off the inadequate vibes that I got from others and took that energy to create more success for myself. It literally felt like a mind game for a moment. I had to train my mind to be a beast, I was operating in beast mode 24/7 because feeling ostracized and like a black sheep took a lot out of me. I’ll be honest, it started to make me weak. I lost focus of myself and I needed to bounce back. It took me most of my life to get to this point, what a journey! I want to encourage you to audit your circle. How do you feel after hanging around them? Do you feel that your safe, as far as sharing your goals, wins, and lessons? Do they cheer you on and support everything that you do? Take some time out to reflect on this.
As Always, Leave Inspired