Guest Blogger Tanaisha-Trusting God’s Process Through It All

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Hello all,

I am Tanaisha Coleman, a student affairs educator working at the University of Vermont. I aspire to be a multicultural affairs educator and diversity, inclusion, and equity consultant. Other aspirations entail being a teacher of social justice or business equity courses, motivational speaker, diversity and inclusion innovator, and world traveler. My life motto is turning my dreams into reality. If you are inspired by my guest blog post and want to chat, please contact me.

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Trusting God’s Process Through It All

Are you waiting for God to reveal His purpose for your life or for your situation to change? If so, I am here to encourage you to stay strong, patient, and faithful. Faith requires us to be brave and trust the process. I have no problem being brave since I have moved to three different non-diverse states as a young Black woman with no friends and family in the last three years. However, when it comes to trusting the process worry and self-doubt causes me to stumble. Why? One, I am a planner, so not knowing is frightening for me. Two, I am a thinker, and a purpose-driven person, so I like everything I do to relate to my goals with a clear understanding of how the big picture is forming.

I can fight against self-doubt and worry by utilizing a combination of methods to settle nerves and revive my faith in God’s process. First and foremost, I engage in constant fellowship and prayer with Christ since He will guide me through no matter the trial or waiting period. Even though my situation might not change both provide a sense of peace from laying it all on the table. Another method is embracing the notion that me knowing everything should not determine my trust in God. If I am halfway invested in God having control over my life than I cannot expect Him to answer my questions. Thus, I establish a firm trust in God’s process by recalling the times He had provided a way when the situation seemed impossible. Additionally, I accept that what is for me will be despite the steps I need to take. Meaning time and other factors don’t equate what will be since God orchestrates my blessings. This requires me to communicate with God and seek counsel about what I need to experience for goals to be effectively accomplished.

We were not created to handle everything by ourselves. Thus, I cultivate a spiritual support system, a selection of friends and family, to help me remember why the wait is worth it, brainstorm ways to seek God’s counsel and provide authentic faith-based encouragement. When identifying these people, you should ask God to show you who is worthy to be in the sacred circle since everyone’s intentions and soul-tie might not blend well for what you need.

My career goal to be a multicultural affairs educator and diversity, inclusion, and equity consult has been a journey for me to be brave and trust God’s process. When I graduated college in 2016, I questioned God about my destiny. It took four months of soul searching and countless conversations with Christ and others to realize the answer. I graduated with a double major degree in Journalism and Communications, I loved storytelling but knew being a reporter or public relations specialist was not my calling. God revealed this by not opening any doors in either field despite my experience of writing for the newspaper for three years or an internship managing social media accounts. I felt like my degree was useless and my career goals needed to be restructured. So, I asked God how could I utilize my degree with a different career plan and what will that career be? It was month one my answer was silence.

Month two, I started journaling to God about my passions. The theme of my passions all related to advocating for minorities and helping myself and others develop cultural competence. I also had a conversation with a member of my spiritual support system about how I desired to turn my passion into a career. The person suggested that I pray to God for guidance to uncover if it was meant for my passion to be my career.

Month three, I reflected how my interests could be a career in multicultural affairs to assist college students with their identity development and cultivate the skillset to understand diverse people and situations. I also concluded I wanted to do diversity consulting with institutions and businesses to help companies and people process conversing about identities, understanding diversity and inclusion, and creating strategies to build and maintain equitable resources. I wrote out how the career goals utilized my degree with needing to actively listen, write clearly, process complex stories, explain multi-facet concepts, and more. Lastly, I said to God if these career paths were meant for me, He needed to provide the necessary resources for it to happen.

Month four, I applied for an AmeriCorps position serving at Cornell College in Iowa as the Civic Engagement Center Program Coordinator. Within two weeks, I went through the interview process, and I was selected for the position. At Cornell College, I also joined the institutional Diversity Committee and facilitated a small discussion group on all facets of identity. This was my answer that God intended me to pursue the goals.

Since then, my accomplishments towards the goals include co-advising a social justice service-learning trip, supervising a Social Justice Learning Community, attending a diversity and inclusion facilitator workshop, and participating in a class on starting a small business. None of this would be possible without God; He has paved the way for me to turn my passion into a career. It’s a work in process, and each year I am closer to turning the goals into reality. Your blessings will come when God deems everything is ready. We must do our part during the wait.

Transitioned Into Purpose

I just want to start off and say that being an adult is hard! I don’t know what part of childhood made me want to rush this moment, but it’s definitely not what it seems. In October, I had to make a decision that was one of the hardest I’ve faced in a while. I gave up pretty much my privacy and job to transition into purpose. What I was doing for a living didn’t bring me joy and it wasn’t what I wanted to do in the long run. I’ve been trying to leave for like a year but just didn’t find the right fit.

I’m gonna be honest, money got real tight. I had to make a decision on if the $30 left over from my check was gonna go to food or gas in my tank. With struggling so much to remain living on my own, working full-time and attending grad school, I decided to move back home. Y’all it was so hard, but I couldn’t suffer anymore. I was literally crying before work every day because I didn’t want to be there. I got tired of not being able to do much because my bills were more than what I was bringing home. I had to make a sacrifice to transition into my purpose.

What that looks like now? Well, I found a job that is geared towards what I am studying in school, I have more money now to invest in the online store that I am building, I can finally SAVE money, and I don’t have much stress.  I don’t want to make it seem like it was that easy to get rid of my apartment, full-time job, and move back to a bedroom. I broked down a lot because I wanted to be sure that I was making the right decision. I felt low in value because I went from holding down everything on my own to being back at square one. My ego was a bit bruised because I needed help.

Now that I am three months into this adjustment in my life, I start to see more benefits. I have the opportunity to start over in a sense. Meaning, once I’m done school I can decide to purchase a home or move to a new city. Working part-time, I can focus more on school, internship, and building my brand. I have more time and a flexible schedule to birth out parts of my purpose. It’s all working out for me and I couldn’t’ be gladder that I took a risk.

What I learned was that we don’t take care of ourselves like we should. I was letting my mental health suffer by staying at a place where I wasn’t happy because I was afraid to reach for something better. I continued to suffer just to say that I have my own spot but was truly broke every two weeks. I was holding up my purpose for materialistic things. Once I realized that how I felt getting out of bed every morning was more important to me than a job, apartment, car, or money – it gave me the push I needed to propel into purpose.

What will your push be to transition you into purpose? Let me know in the comments.

As always,

Leave Inspired.

I’m Ending My Relationship

Nothing about this relationship is worth having, but for some reason it’s been hard to leave. In this relationship I feel useless, overlooked, and insecure. I am constantly walking with trembling legs because I never know what is coming next. This relationship has been abusive mentally and emotionally. I have never in my life felt so debilitated. For some reason it’s all I knew, and I have found some form of comfort in it – it became my identity. I am tired. This relationship has not been serving me well. I have missed out on great things and people. I cannot get my mind off it to focus on my dreams and desires, it’s just time for it to end. No more convincing me to believe that you’re right. I do not want to cuddle up with your presence nor feeling the air you breathe on my neck. I do not want to feel your kisses my forehead as if I’ve been the best you ever had. I’ve made up my mind that you can no longer linger in the precious areas of my life. This is over, I’m through. I am ending my relationship with fear.

Toxic Relationships That We Love

I am sure we all have some experiences of being involved in toxic relationships that were difficult to get rid of. Not by force, but because we actually LOVED those relationships. I know it may sound crazy to love something that is not good for you -the truth is we do it every day. From what we eat to the things that we do to our bodies. This has been an area of my life that held me captive for a long time.

Sure, I asked myself over a thousand times “why do I like being a part of these toxic relationships?” Now when I mention “relationships” I do not mean just romantic but friendships as well. Whew! Not only did it take one, but about three toxic relationships later when I was able to understand why I did. Believe it or not, it was because of hope. I had hope as small as a mustard seed that things would be different or that I could change him/her. But that hope was hiding the root, which was fear.

Yep, I said it fear! I was afraid to let go because I did not think it could get any better for me. I use to say things like, “this is as good as it gets Ty, suck it up and take it or be alone.” Some of you who will read this and know me personally may be surprised that I struggled. I struggled with this fear because I could never fit in. Tried dating the brotha with the gangsta lean, tried befriending the baddest chicks, tried to keep up because I was afraid to stand alone and be different.

How did I get out and make it through? I got tired, and you will too! I got tired of trying to squeeze my square into a circle. I got tired of investing in relationships/friendships that did not serve me well. I became so damn restless, it almost killed me. Matter of fact it did, well parts of me. It killed my dreams, hopes, and desires, I gave it all too much power to do even that. I had to change, I wanted out.

Where am I now? Dodging toxic relationships like a mug lol. Doing so by being a good investor. I was good at investing but not a good investor, if that makes sense. Praying about those I allow in my space, surrounding myself around others who share the same interests, and simply not being afraid to be Tysheira, Ty, TyTy all day every day, haha. What about you? Are you currently struggling with this or have in the past, how did you make it through? Let me know in the comments.

 

As always, leave inspired!